I have been HIV-positive for 27 years. When I was diagnosed, I saw a poster at the AIDS Center saying that I had three to five years left and "have a nice life". I figured I’d just do drugs for a while and then pass away. There was no panic. I knew I would die anyways because of using. I listened to punk rock, and all my favorite artists had died from overdose. In that subculture, it seemed that 50 was an unthinkable age and it was best not to live to see it.

The only thing I was worried about was not infecting my wife, at that time my future wife. When she tested negative for HIV, I suggested that we split up because I was concerned about her future. But she didn't want to break up. I think she did not fully understand the possible consequences of her decision. At that time, few people understood what HIV was, even specialists.

My wife tried her best to save me from drugs. She suffered, kicked me out from time to time but then let me in. We lived in poverty. When there is a drug addict in a family, it's a great misfortune. I was saved by the force of some cosmic love that still doesn’t fade today. In withdrawal when I hit rock bottom I repented and believed. That day in 2004, I quit all my bad habits overnight. I stopped wanting to use drugs. Today I am a man of faith. I’m clean from addiction and have a happy family. When I was at my worst, only God could save me. 

I lived in a small town where everyone found out about my HIV status after it was disclosed first by the military commander and then by the chief physician of the hospital. There was persecution. We looked for options to move but it didn't work out. One of the moms in my daughter's kindergarten put together a team to get us expelled. But she didn't manage. I was an active parent, did a lot of things for the kindergarten, filmed events organized for the children, and we eventually became friends with that woman. She changed her attitude towards HIV when she met our family. 

When my HIV status was disclosed everyone was talking behind my back. Yet when I began to speak openly about being HIV-positive, it became uncomfortable for others to whisper about it. People living with HIV face similar problems, and I can teach them to not be afraid. 

If a person adheres to antiretroviral therapy, all HIV-related limitations are solely in the mind. HIV infection is not an obstacle to work, hobbies, starting a family or having children. The only thing that stops people living with HIV is something they made up or heard from others.

When we were 42, we had our youngest daughter. As a mature parent, I enjoyed holding her in my arms, squeezing her, playing with her. But at some point, I felt like I was having trouble carrying her from the car to the house. My acquaintance brought me to the gym, and then I got so involved that now I can't imagine living without working out.

There are many former addicts among athletes. Their obsessiveness and past experiences draws them into the sport. They achieve very good results in bodybuilding, even if it is a replacement of one addiction with another. Not a bad one in my opinion. 

My goal now is to live as long as God allows. Yet not to live my life aimlessly but make it meaningful and leave behind a legacy that my children or grandchildren will not be ashamed of.